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It's so refreshing to see a content creator post about this topic. Huge respect for addressing this topic Carly! When I was younger I liked the idea of having one child but truthfully I've never felt that maternal want for kids, as I've got older I realise I don't want them and feel like my life is fulfilled without them. I have both friends who are also child-free by choice and friends who have kids, who I adore and enjoy making a fuss over and playing games with them etc. but it doesn't make me broody for kids of my own. One of the biggest moments for me personally that made me question if I wanted them was when I lost my grandparents, I realised the only reason I entertained the idea of having kids was because I thought my grandparents would be around to see them grow up and how happy they'd be but when they passed away it really made me look inward to what I wanted for myself and having kids just isn't for me. I'm fortunate that I have family and friends who don't pressure me or judge me for my life choices, I know others may not have that luxury

Hi there, I’m usually a big fan of your content, but I found this video a bit disappointing. I appreciate your effort to present both sides of the argument-life with children and life without. You provided many reasons why being childfree has worked for you, such as traveling and finances. While it’s certainly possible to love your body in any form, it might be easier if one fits the “common beauty standard” (e.g., having abs 8 months postpartum) and if your business revolves around fitness. As you are a personal trainer and coach, I was a bit disappointed that you didn’t acknowledge the struggles many women face with their postpartum bodies not corresponding to beauty standards (anymore). Other changes and health struggles regarding a women's PP were already raised in another commment... Also, you mainly presented three reasons to be childfree: freedom, finances, and career. While I agree that these aspects can be easier without children, your previous message in your video suggested that there were no changes for you in terms of freedom and finances (and probably your career). Regarding your career, you mentioned that being “of childbearing age” is the struggle, not having children. All of this seems to override your arguments for a childfree life. I understand that you can only share your perspective and you often mention that it is YOUR opinion and YOUR situation. However, given the emotional nature of this topic (especially for women like me who constantly struggle with this decision), I expected a bit more depth and reflection..

I will be very honest, I still haven’t watched this video, I’m trying for the millionth time, but with all my problems that I have, even knowing I might want kids I have given up on it. Not because I wouldn’t be able to fight about it, but because I do believe that some things happen for a reason and maybe my body is just not supposed to be pregnant. I love your content and wanted to make sure I comment, but I still couldn’t bring myself to watch this video

On the body-changing front, there are so many factors at play here. How many women have abs 8 months post-partum? Genetics and luck of the draw play a huge part in this. I'm prone to stretch marks and know that I would get them on my stomach and breasts, which has the potential to impact my self-image. The stats around incontinence are truly frightening and no one talks about it! Not to mention impact on mental health such as post-partum depression/psychosis or PTSD from traumatic births (which, incidentally, all my friends with kids seem to have experienced). My personal view is, ultimately, you have a gut feeling whether you do or do not want kids. Those who don't want kids are pretty much forced by society to rationalise that choice - and there are hundreds of very very good reasons - to a standard that people who want kids never are. It is simply enough to say "I want kids".

I have always been on the side “I dont really feel like having a kid..” untill I gradually realized that I really do want to see grow someone up. My son is turning four in couple of weeks :) and the magic of experiencing stuff for the first time is just everything :)

Love this ❤

I love this, I fully believe that things turn out the best, for those who make the best of how things turn out. I struggled with my weight since puberty, but once my kids came along, they propelled me in to a more active, healthy, lifestyle, accelerated by my desire to model good habits for them, I ended up shifting 4 stone quite easily. On top of that, once we realised that we simply couldn’t afford childcare, I had no other option but start my own business, working around them, it’s a lot more stress, but it means I make the same money, but less hours and have the privilege of being 100% present for them, which to me, is the best of both worlds! So I’m really pleased that 24 year old me, didn’t halt my family planning over the worries of my body/finances because I could never have predicted that both would actually improve!

Thank you for this video, this is excellent advice for someone who might not be sure yet!

Very well said xx

What a beautiful video! As someone who has had the visceral feeling of wanting to be a mother. To pause. And reflect about the desire of children in such a concise well thought structure was wonderful. 😅 x thank you

absolutely beautiful x

Great video, what I would like to add regarding the cost: one does need a bigger apartment or/and car and that's quite expensive over time

I really appreciate this video on the topic. I always wanted kids since I was 13 years old and I'm 34 now. Well actually I probably want a kid since before that since I'm the oldest child of my sibling and all my cousins in the family and I always loved kids but I knew at 13 that I wanted to Foster Andrew adopt as my path to parenthood. I knew I could be a better mom than my abusive mother quite early on around age 13 ish. But I'm glad I waited until I had more fully healed my own childhood trauma before trying to parent really traumatized children who would be more likely to trigger all sorts of bad responses in me that might not be abusive in the same way but might not have been fully healthy parenting .But as I got older and don't have a partner, it is harder and harder to imagine how to handle all of the changes Parenthood would bring to my life and I relate more and more to child-free people as a 34-year-old adult without kids. Also if I Foster they aren't really my own kids and I'm supposed to not treat them as my own kids in a somewhat complicated way. If I avoid ever getting pregnant I'm avoiding some of the body related things that you discuss. You really can't travel when you have foster children it's different than if you have your own children. There's so many layers to this that are interesting to consider. Right now the reason I'm not a parent already is really Financial combined with my own Mental Health. My mental health is taken care of now but it stalled my career trajectory for a while and made it to that I'm currently not in a financial position to be able to handle even Financial Independence for myself. I'm still working on that. I hope to be able to get to a point when I can afford children and become a foster parent as is my dream. And I love that I've been seeing more and more content about how the amazingness of Parenthood is how fulfilling it is even if it's not easy in the hard work makes it worth it and there's this special perspective shift of seeing the world through their eyes that I already kind of intuitively new and see and experience with other young children around me that aren't my own kids. The main reason I want kids is because I know I would be such a good parent and it would feel so fulfilling and it would be a waste of all the research I've done on how to be a good parent if I don't use it towards some of these kids that are already out there in the world I already preemptively identify as a mother basically even though I'm not one yet and I've been gravitating towards business owners who are moms and groups like that to kind of see what my life might look like once I'm a parent and try to build a life that will work with Parenthood. My apologies for the voice to text typing I'll fix it in a few hours hopefully if I remember

such a good video that i didnt know i needed

This was the best video I’ve seen on this. Thank you 💛

My daughter (now 36) knew from the time she was a child that she was not interested in having a child. She is a wonderful daughter, a supportive friend and a loving partner…but her gifts to the world do not include children. My son (34) and his fiancée (30) have been together since they were very young. As they both work for the school board and have friends with children… they have decided that parenthood is not for them. I would make THE most loving Nana…but it’s not my life, is it? As a parent I want my children to be happy and make decisions as to how to make that happen. Whatever you decide, I hope it brings you peace.

Carly there is so much noise around this topic online and it’s filled with so much hate and resentment, but I loved your take on both. You really have perspectives on both sides that I didn’t think about before. Definitely saving this to watch again later ❤ thank you

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Brilliant advice! This is such a good, thought provoking topic!

This video found me at the perfect time, thank you Carly! You articulated what I was trying to say to my husband perfectly x

You truly hit rhe nail on the head. I moved abroad when I was 19/20, I wasn't doing it fully for me. I was running away. I will never regret that time as it taught me a lot about myself. Now 14 years later I'm planning to move abroad again. I'm enjoying my time at home and cultivating the life I'd like to have. Also knowing its ok of it doesn't work out. Sometimes you have to just give it a try.

This gave me goosebumps. I’m considering a move to Barcelona, and I need to ask myself these questions. I have a year until I go, so I’m wondering what I can do to prepare myself for the transition and enjoy the experience - the me today might be running from myself.

Thank you so much for this thought provoking video Carly ❤

THE most amazing advice ✨ I am mind blown at how much this moved me, and made me question everything. Thank you Carly 🤍🤍🤍

So lovely to hear from you, Carly ❤️ A pity I cannot join you in Costa Rica retreat since the Portugal one last year really changed a lot within me. Looking forward to seeing more of this truly you, so authentic and close that I can even feel it! Sending lots of love xx Rosa

Just lovely Carly! You seem so happy... the joy shows... and looks good on you. ❤

Love your updates, love your new home, in awe of your bravery x

Does Jax go to a Spanish speaking school or is it an international school?

Lovely too see your new home, just wondered and you’ve probably thought of this but could the acne be related to shampoo/conditioner, just when you mentioned it being on the back of your neck, and what seems like your hairline in general. Sending you all love and positivity for this fab next chapter ❤

Love seeing these snippets of your new life in Costa Rica!

Jax asking you to talk to her drawings while she’s at school is so sweet 🥹 you’re such a loving mama♥️♥️

Nice video, Moon.

I pay more than $2k a month for less than 500 sq feet in Toronto! Good deal Carly ❤️

I absolutely love Jax’s room. Love love love that you’re so happy

The spiders 😮😮

I'm so happy you're posting some videos again... Love to see you're happy.. Wish you all the best on your journey ❤

2000 rent for that in Costa Rica? Seems a bit on the high side 🙈

Love this so much. Actually found it quite emotional. It’s so sad how reliant and addicted we are to our devices, we forget to really take in what’s in front of us 🥺 x

I love your home ❤ seems like such a simple lovely life. Makes me realise how man6 ‘things’ I have without being really happy xx

So lovely to catch-up with you babe 🥰

Beautiful home Carly 💖

It's Lovely! 💕

This was a great video! I’m sharing it with my husband❤

Beautiful content and thought provoking words, thank you!

Love this style of vlog. Beautiful words and content! I completely relate to putting love into the mundane. This past year or so I've found that before I was always striving for that big moment, big event, exciting holiday and since taking a step back to save up my money I've noticed I am becoming more content in everyday things.

This was so therapeutic to listen to 😘😘

Thank you. Just … thank you. ❤

Carly, you are like the online big sister we all needed

Well I am very glad you're back because this is beautiful and just what I needed xx

So refreshing to see the everyday moments celebrated 💛